Types Of Performance Appraisals

In some cases, the performance appraisal processes are structured and formally sanctioned while in other cases they are an informal and essential part of daily activities. Performance refers to the extent of completion of the tasks that make up an individual's job. One type of performance appraisal is to evaluate employees against standards of personal qualities and work profile. Usually trait rating evaluation systems may list about ten to fifteen personal traits. These personal traits may include the ability to get along with people, analytical competence, initiative, and leadership. The list may also include work related aspects such as job knowledge, ability to follow assignments, production or cost results, and success in seeing that plans are being carried out as expected. Many a times, employees may oppose this type of evaluation.

One realistic problem of the trait-oriented approach to appraisal is that trait evaluation cannot be objective. Serious and far-minded managers may not wish to be subjective when evaluating employees on matters as vital as performance. To make matters worse, employees receiving a rating lower than what they feel is justified always feel that they have been dealt with unfairly.

Motivating

One widely used type of performance appraisal is the system of evaluating performance against the setting and accomplishing of objectives. Once a program of evaluating by objectives, which are achievable is operating, appraisal may become a fairly easy task. Supervisors determine how well objectives have been set and how well have employees performed against them. In some cases where performance appraisal by results has failed, the principal reason may be that managing by objectives was seen only as an appraisal technique and in such a case it is most unlikely to succeed. Appraisal by objectives must be a way of planning as well as a key to organizing, staffing, leading, and controlling. When performance appraisal is done this way, the appraisal takes into consideration whether or not employees have established adequate but reasonably attainable objectives and how they have performed against them within a specified period of time.

Types Of Performance Appraisals

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7 Effective Strategies Showing You "How to Motivate Your Team"

The success of your business or organization depends largely on the people that make up your team. Whether they are salespeople, customer service representatives, executive managers or service providers, your team can make or break the success of your organization or business. 

Therefore, motivating your team to continually meet and exceed goals and expectations is essential to the overall success of your organization. How to motivate your team? Here are seven useful tips that will help you keep your team motivated and working hard to achieve your organization's goals.

Motivating

1. Set clear and realistic goals. The first essential step towards meeting your team's goals and inspiring your team to participate and achieve, is to set clear and realistic goals. Set both short-term and long-term goals and build on each success as a goal is achieved.

2. Clearly communicate goals and expectations. In order for your team to meet and exceed goals and expectations, they must have a solid understanding of what they are working to obtain. Clearly communicate the goals and expectations that have been established in order to set your team up for success.

3. Provide all necessary tools. Morale and motivation can only get your team so far. To maintain a happy team that is motivated to work hard to achieve their goals, ensure that they have the proper tools for the job. This may include equipment, training, supplies, support or coaching.

4. Use work plans. Work plans are incredibly effective tools that act both as to do lists complete with goals and deadlines, and well-organized agendas for follow up meetings and check-ins.

5. Stay connected and follow up. Schedule regular check-ins with each team member, as well as the whole team. This is a great way to help team members maintain accountability to the team, as well as an easy way to immediately discover if anyone is falling behind on their responsibilities or facing challenges that need to be addressed.

6. Involve your team setting goals and creating work plans. There is no better way to establish ownership of goals and expectations than to involve your team in setting the goals and establishing the expectations that they will then work together to meet.

7. Celebrate successes and use incentives. Celebrate both individual and team successes whenever goals are met or exceeded. Incentives can range from small gifts or public praise, to workplace perks and recognition. Incentives don't have to be expensive to show your team that you appreciate them and that their efforts are noticed.

With these simple tips you are sure to find that keeping your team inspired and motivated is an easy and worthwhile endeavor. In summary, "how to motivate your team?". Remember, team members appreciate clear, well-established expectations, having the tools they need to succeed, and being involved in the process of goal setting. Motivating your team and ensuring each member's success is the most effective way to ensure the overall success of your company or organization.

7 Effective Strategies Showing You "How to Motivate Your Team"

VT is a finance consultant with a multi national company. She has extensive experience in motivating teams and effective sales marketing.

Did you find this article helpful? If you did, then take a look at the step-by-step video tutorial here regarding how to motivate your team: http://www.YourPersonalMotivator.com

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How to Increase Motivation

Motivation is an important factor that plays a very important role in enhancing efficiency and boosting productivity. Motivation drives people to perform their best in all the activities carried out by them. Lack of motivation hampers productivity and damages growth prospects. Managers and leaders are required to increase employee and team morale. They may use various means or incentives to increase motivation. This differs from person to person and from situation to situation.

Attending personal development workshops can increase personal motivation. Seminars, training programs or vocational courses can help people boost their personal levels of motivation. People are also advised to read or listen to inspirational material. This plays an important role in increasing their personal level of motivation. Another significant way by which people can increase their personal motivation is by associating with positive people.

Motivation

In order to achieve organizational goals and objectives, managers and team leaders are required to increase the morale of their employees and subordinates. They are advised to constantly stay in touch with their employees and improve modes of communication in order to facilitate adequate feedbacks. Appropriate allocation of authority and designation of responsibility also helps in increasing motivation level among employees. It is commonly seen that financial incentives and perquisites offered also prove to be the most effective motivational tools in the hands of employers. Recognizing talent and giving due praise when required also helps in boosting employee motivation.

A number of theories have been compiled keeping in mind human psychology. "Maslow's hierarchy of needs" and "McGregor's Theory X and Theory Y" are the most famous theories that have been developed. These theories have immensely helped in understanding human behavior. They have analyzed human wants, which has made it easier to develop new and improved means of motivating employees and individuals.

Analyzing human behavior and accordingly satisfying wants can help to increase the level of motivation in a person.

How to Increase Motivation

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Motivational Theories

Organizational behaviour studies and theories of motivation to account for the need to get the most out of workers in industrial or business concerns is very much a twentieth century phenomenon. Following the industrial revolution, large concentrations of workers were needed in mills and factories to mass produce goods on factory sites, which replaced agricultural and craft work hitherto produced in small rural family or communal units. In the early days of industrialization in the West, slave labour, or indentured labour including child labour at starvation wages, could be harnessed at the behest of the ruling classes.

After two Word Wars and a radically changed social, economic and political environment, owners of capital could no longer treat labour as a disposable commodity. Trade Unions, Communism, and demand for universal education by the population in Western and Western-style democracies, along with worldwide markets meant that the old methods of almost forced, repetitive labour ('the dark satanic mills') became a thing of the past. New disciplines like psychology, sociology and economics sprang up. Unlike in the natural sciences like physics, chemistry and even biology, theory building in the social sciences, often followed practice, and were uneven and far less cumulative, reliable, or universally valid and applicable (see Gillespie below). Organizational behaviour and management science developed alongside advances in the social sciences.

Motivational

The 'carrot and stick' approach to early theories of management owe to the writings of Frederick Winslow Taylor. He coined the term 'scientific management' to a theory later termed simply 'Taylorism' which sought to break down tasks to their simplest elements so that an assembly line robot could undertake the task without any need for thinking. All brain work was to be removed from the shop floor and handled by managers alone. This is the principle of separating conception from execution. This approach may have worked with early immigrants to the US without much language skills (English), but its effectiveness was short lived. However, in automated plants using very high tech solutions for 24- hour routine work with little or no human input, the principle still applies.

Douglas McGregor called Taylorism and similar top down command and control approaches to management of labour, Theory X, and proposed instead Theory Y giving the employees more autonomy and discretion at work so long as they met the overall organizational objectives. He was appealing to a more skilled and educated workforce as the workplace technology became ever more sophisticated with the passage of time. McGregor drew upon the work of Elton Mayo in what became known as the Hawthorne Studies conducted between 1927 and 1932 at the Western Electric plant in Cicero, Illinois.

Gillespie made a thorough review of Mayo's Hawthorne plant experiments and questioned the whole ethos of regarding such work as objective science, although Mayo's conclusions were widely discussed and accepted in the intervening years. Gillespie believes that there is 'no purely objective scientific methodology' and that what is agreed as 'scientific knowledge is manufactured and not discovered' (ibid). Every type of intervention that Mayo instituted in the factory, including changing the illumination, changing the hours of work, and giving more, or less breaks, all ended with the workers producing more with each intervention by the social scientists. The 'Hawthorne Effect' has been summarised as employees becoming more productive because they know they are being sympathetically observed. In other words by the psychological stimulus of being singled out, involved, and made to feel important'.

Industrial relations have to be based on 'human relations', which was the name adopted by the Theory Y School of motivators. Their conclusions were that there was an informal group life developing among factory workers, and the norms they develop affect productivity. In short, the workplace is a social system and managers must ignore the fact to their cost. Workers develop among themselves a sense of responsibility to work well. Such an ethos was adopted by Japanese car makers, and until very recently it worked very well for them when they conquered the world car market.

A very similar type of investigation was undertaken by the Tavistock Institute in London to study the work of coal miners. Researchers found that job simplification and specialization did not work under conditions of uncertainty and non-routine tasks'. They advocated semi-autonomous groups. Meanwhile, there had been extensive work undertaken outside the organizational framework that was to influence motivational theory. This was the seminal work of Abraham Maslow who identified a hierarchy of human needs requiring satisfaction form the lowest level of basic physiological needs going up the scale to creativity and self-actualization. According to Maslow, 'a need once satisfied, no longer motivates. The company relies on monetary rewards and benefits to satisfy employee's lower level needs. Once those needs have been satisfied, the motivation is gone... employees can be most productive when their work goals align with their higher level needs'.

Although McGregor used Maslow's theory to bolster up his Theory Y, Maslow's theory with its much more complex hierarchy has been labelled Theory Z. In brief summary form and visualized as a pyramid with its broad base first:

- Physiological needs (Lowest)
- Safety needs;
- Love/affiliation needs;
- Esteem needs; and
- Self-actualization needs (Highest)

There is one more influential theory of motivation (among many less well-known) which needs to be explored. This is Herzberg's 'two-factor' theory of motivation. 'The theory was first drawn from an examination of events in the lives of engineers and accountants. At least 16 other investigations, using a wide variety of populations, (including some in the Communist countries) have since been completed, making the original research one of the most replicated studies in the field of job attitudes' (op. cit.). He hypothesised that the 'factors involved in producing job satisfaction (and motivation) are separate from the factors that lead to job dissatisfaction... The opposite of job satisfaction is not job dissatisfaction, but, rather, no job satisfaction; and similarly, the opposite of job dissatisfaction is not job satisfaction, but no job dissatisfaction'.

Herzberg's lower level hygiene factors may be listed as security, status, workplace relationships, personal life, salary, supervision, and company practices. His higher order, motivators may be listed as growth, advancement, responsibility, work itself, recognition, and at the very top a sense of achievement, which corresponds to self-actualization in Maslow's hierarchy.

Having explored the changing nature of motivational theory as reflective of the changing nature of the global social, political and economic landscape over the years, this essay also delved into Maslow's more general Theory of the Hierarchy of Needs and Herzberg's workplace oriented Two-Factor theory of motivation. Since all social science theorising remains contingent on so many factors, more recent theories such as total quality management (TQM) and business process reengineering (BPR) have evolved to take into account current organizational concerns.

Motivational Theories

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Office Decorating

As well as the overall appearance and feel, the colors you choose can also affect productivity in your workplace. That's why it's important to ask yourself some questions before you begin decorating, to make sure this space will truly fulfill your needs. Whatever you decide, your office should be a place where you will enjoy working. Choose the colors and style that best suit your needs. In home offices, try to strive for a look between residential and commercial. For example, smart and warm rather than cool and corporate will blend a homework space nicely. Use colors from the rest of the house to help tie your office blend in with the living areas. Some colors motivate, while other colors can distract. Having the right colors can make your office a better place to work. If you are easily distracted, you may need to surround yourself with soft, muted colors to relax and calm you, and help you get down to work. If you find motivation difficult, you may want to surround yourself with brighter colors to provide you with more energy. Decide which colors best motivate you, and project the right image for your working environment.

Cool colors such as blues greens, and purples, are passive in nature, receding into the background. They don't distract or disturb, making them a perfect choice for a office. Natural, restful, yet rejuvenating, the color green is perhaps one of the best colors to use in spaces where the main goals are thinking and creativity. This is one reason why this color is often chosen for classrooms and study areas. Warm colors such as reds, yellows, and oranges, are active and actually appear to move towards you, making rooms painted in these hues appear more intimate and cozy. Warm hues are cheerful and invigorating. It is great for creative spaces and for people seeking stimulation from their work environment.

Motivate

Office Decorating

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How a Merchant Cash Advance Can Be Used to Motivate Employees

Your sales are down. You've tried everything you can think of to turn them around; from marketing schemes, to promotions and even purchasing new types of inventory. But did you ever stop to think that maybe your employees need a little pick-me-up that could in turn, produce an increase in sales.

Maybe it's time to give a boost to your employees. Having employees that enjoy what they do can make a huge difference for your sales.

Motive

Employees that are not motivated and are simply getting through the day are very likely not offering the type of customer service that makes customers stick around, and even refer your business to others.

Rather than trying to get a small business loan to finance other initiatives for sales increases, use a merchant cash advance to offer motivation and incentives to your employees, and improve the overall atmosphere of your business.

o Redecorate

The mood of a room can affect the moods of the people in it. Take nature for example, it is often believed that people feel happier on bright and sunny days. This could also be the case for your business. Maybe your business's drab environment is causing low employee morale. With a merchant cash advance, you can acquire the funds necessary to completely remodel your business. Brighten up your work area, or transform your break room into a place where employees feel comfortable.

o Bonuses

Along with personal recognition and appreciation, offering employees bonuses for a job well done can definitely be a morale booster. Some sources recommend tailoring your bonuses for individual employees, as each employee has a different personality and holds different interests. What motivates one employee may not motivate another, so before developing ideas for bonuses, it may be necessary to get to know your employees a little better.

o Group Incentives

Offering group incentives in addition to individual incentives is also a way to increase employee motivation. Having group rewards will encourage employees to motivate each other, as well as work on their individual performances.

Once you've decided to embark upon your employee motivation venture, contact a merchant cash advance lender. You won't need to provide any type of collateral, and you can have your money in your account in as little as ten business days. Funding, repayment and renewal are all very simple processes when you choose to receive a merchant cash advance.

Don't wait any longer, get your merchant cash advance and make your business a fun place for employees to work.

How a Merchant Cash Advance Can Be Used to Motivate Employees

Gaston C. writes articles about Merchant Cash Advance for Merchant Resources International.

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Truth About High Anxiety - You Are Bigger Than Your Anxiety, Do You Know That?

Anxiety disorder symptoms can manifest itself in many ways. Some will experience more on physical sensations like trembling, sweating, dizziness, paresthesia (pins and needles), tingling sensations, numbness etc. However there are others who will feel more on their emotional aspect. This emotional symptoms can be the feeling of depression, hopelessness, fear of death, fear of illness or fear of germs.

Having all these in one's life are a big hindrance to many beautiful things and if left untreated can escalate to being immobilized and crippling. Before you succumbed to this level of high anxiety, learn this tips to overcome your enemy.

\"Motivational Techniques\"

1. From today onwards you must realized that although having anxiety disorders are indeed torturing, they are in fact harmless. Nobody have ever been reported to die because of all these symptoms.
2. You must have full confident in your heart and mind that these symptoms can and will be cured. Many people have been cured from this condition including the writer of this article. Tell yourself, "If they can be cured so will I."
3. You must get rid of all negative thinking that can bring your morale down. Read books and articles about self-motivation techniques and learn from those who are already successful in life.
4. You must also avoid unhealthy lifestyles such as late night clubbing, drinking alcohol, taking drugs, mixing with negative thinking people and reading negative books or articles.
5. You must eliminate any possible stressors from your life. For example, if you have a partner or friends who have been giving you troubles instead of making you happy, consider to leave him/her if they refuse to change. Choose positive friends instead.
6. You have to be forgiving to yourself and the people around you. Adopt a lot of patience in yourself and in everything that you do. Anger and hatred can be the main triggers to anxiety attacks.
7. Get immediate treatment for your condition. Choose treatments that are natural and do not involves any drugs or chemical based medicines. You wouldn't want to experience side effects from those dangerous drugs.

These tips are very powerful if you can follow them with full focus. You have to make a firm decision for yourself if you want to be anxiety-free. You must stop being self-pity and start being strong. You are in fact bigger than your high anxiety. Trust me.

Truth About High Anxiety - You Are Bigger Than Your Anxiety, Do You Know That?

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Lost Your Motivation? No Worries - 6 Tips to Get Back on Track

Did you ever notice that when life is going along smoothly, we feel accomplished and pleased at the end of the day? We are taking care of all that needs to be done, and moving forward towards our goals. Whether it's career advancement, weight loss, or building a new home, as long as there are no huge bumps in the road, we easily stay on track.

I took a break from writing articles during the past few months, lightened my client load and truly enjoyed the summer. I was gearing up for the fall, excited to get working on some business and personal goals, when those unexpected bumps occurred.

\"Motivational Techniques\"

Discomfort from a pinched nerve caused me to feel distracted and unfocused. Visits to the chiropractor and rehab were time consuming. Just when I began feeling better, Hurricane Irene paid us an uninvited visit and flooded my basement. Our basement housed my exercise studio, a home office, family room and guest room. The loss of it left us feeling displaced and overwhelmed.

Recovery construction workers, insurance adjusters, clean up crews and contractors were demanding of my time and attention. We have months of rebuilding in front of us and I have an unexpected job on my hands.

After weeks of attending to all of this, my business was being neglected, and I was lacking the motivation to get back to the things I normally do to keep it thriving. I didn't like that feeling!

So I took some time and went through the steps I use to help my clients when they lose focus and desire. It feels really good to be back on track, and I'm excited to share some ideas to recharge your motivation the next time you see it wavering.

1. Self-care first. When life throws you a curveball leaving you feeling overwhelmed, stressed and unfocused, don't let self care slip. Getting the sleep you need, eating healthily and exercising regularly will keep you feeling strong and in control. No matter what was going on, my doctors appointments and daily exercise were planned first in my schedule. A few lunch dates out with my girlfriends lifted my mood and kept my spirits high.

2. Look for the silver lining. What is the lesson to be learned from your current situation? What possibilities and promises might lie ahead? The flood in our basement will mean a new paint job, something I've been procrastinating for a long time. It feels good to clean out items that we no longer need. And finding things long forgotten, such as my kid's old camp letters, left us rolling in laughter.

3. Adopt an attitude of gratitude. When my pinched nerve had me uncomfortable and frustrated, I reminded myself to be grateful that this is an acute injury, not a permanent disability, and it will eventually get better. Overall, I am healthy and well. The flood in the basement was upsetting, but I am keenly aware of how many others suffered much worse damage. In nearby towns, people lost their homes and precious mementos. Many businesses had to shut down, and were subjected to a loss of income. We are actually one of the lucky ones.

4. Wherever possible, simplify. Ask yourself what must get done and let go, even if only temporarily, of the rest of your to-do's. Meeting with my clients and showing up for speaking obligations was non-negotiable (and actually helped keep my sanity). Waiting one more month to publish any new articles and delaying the promotion of a new group program wasn't a big deal for my business.

5. Reexamine your visions and motivators. Ask yourself why you set your goals in the first place. What is the meaning and purpose behind them? What will it mean to you to accomplish them? Reviewing my business mission and goals reignited my passion and excitement.

6. Take one small step at a time. Once you begin to feel the desire to get back on track, ask yourself what is the one small step you can take right now to begin the process. Schedule it and commit to it. Getting back to writing was my first step. I planned time to create an outline, then my intro, and then another time to write the tips. And here you go; I'm back on track and I hope it will help you the next time you're feeling overwhelmed and derailed.

Lost Your Motivation? No Worries - 6 Tips to Get Back on Track

Ellen Goldman created EnerG Coaching, LLC, to help entrepreneurs and executive professionals who are worried about their health and happiness, and are either exhausted, burnt out, out of shape, overweight, or all of the above! To find out if you qualify for a COMPLIMENTARY PHONE STRATEGY SESSION WITH ELLEN, please contact her at ellen@EnerGcoaching.com or 973-535-8891. For additional information on EnerG Coaching programs, visit http://www.EnerGcoaching.com.

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Factors Affecting Consumer Behavior

Consumer behavior refers to the selection, purchase and consumption of goods and services for the satisfaction of their wants. There are different processes involved in the consumer behavior. Initially the consumer tries to find what commodities he would like to consume, then he selects only those commodities that promise greater utility. After selecting the commodities, the consumer makes an estimate of the available money which he can spend. Lastly, the consumer analyzes the prevailing prices of commodities and takes the decision about the commodities he should consume. Meanwhile, there are various other factors influencing the purchases of consumer such as social, cultural, personal and psychological. The explanation of these factors is given below.

1. Cultural Factors

Motivation

Consumer behavior is deeply influenced by cultural factors such as: buyer culture, subculture, and social class.

• Culture

Basically, culture is the part of every society and is the important cause of person wants and behavior. The influence of culture on buying behavior varies from country to country therefore marketers have to be very careful in analyzing the culture of different groups, regions or even countries.

• Subculture

Each culture contains different subcultures such as religions, nationalities, geographic regions, racial groups etc. Marketers can use these groups by segmenting the market into various small portions. For example marketers can design products according to the needs of a particular geographic group.

• Social Class

Every society possesses some form of social class which is important to the marketers because the buying behavior of people in a given social class is similar. In this way marketing activities could be tailored according to different social classes. Here we should note that social class is not only determined by income but there are various other factors as well such as: wealth, education, occupation etc.

2. Social Factors

Social factors also impact the buying behavior of consumers. The important social factors are: reference groups, family, role and status.

• Reference Groups

Reference groups have potential in forming a person attitude or behavior. The impact of reference groups varies across products and brands. For example if the product is visible such as dress, shoes, car etc then the influence of reference groups will be high. Reference groups also include opinion leader (a person who influences other because of his special skill, knowledge or other characteristics).

• Family

Buyer behavior is strongly influenced by the member of a family. Therefore marketers are trying to find the roles and influence of the husband, wife and children. If the buying decision of a particular product is influenced by wife then the marketers will try to target the women in their advertisement. Here we should note that buying roles change with change in consumer lifestyles.

• Roles and Status

Each person possesses different roles and status in the society depending upon the groups, clubs, family, organization etc. to which he belongs. For example a woman is working in an organization as finance manager. Now she is playing two roles, one of finance manager and other of mother. Therefore her buying decisions will be influenced by her role and status.

3. Personal Factors

Personal factors can also affect the consumer behavior. Some of the important personal factors that influence the buying behavior are: lifestyle, economic situation, occupation, age, personality and self concept.

• Age

Age and life-cycle have potential impact on the consumer buying behavior. It is obvious that the consumers change the purchase of goods and services with the passage of time. Family life-cycle consists of different stages such young singles, married couples, unmarried couples etc which help marketers to develop appropriate products for each stage.

• Occupation

The occupation of a person has significant impact on his buying behavior. For example a marketing manager of an organization will try to purchase business suits, whereas a low level worker in the same organization will purchase rugged work clothes.

• Economic Situation

Consumer economic situation has great influence on his buying behavior. If the income and savings of a customer is high then he will purchase more expensive products. On the other hand, a person with low income and savings will purchase inexpensive products.

• Lifestyle

Lifestyle of customers is another import factor affecting the consumer buying behavior. Lifestyle refers to the way a person lives in a society and is expressed by the things in his/her surroundings. It is determined by customer interests, opinions, activities etc and shapes his whole pattern of acting and interacting in the world.

• Personality

Personality changes from person to person, time to time and place to place. Therefore it can greatly influence the buying behavior of customers. Actually, Personality is not what one wears; rather it is the totality of behavior of a man in different circumstances. It has different characteristics such as: dominance, aggressiveness, self-confidence etc which can be useful to determine the consumer behavior for particular product or service.

4. Psychological Factors

There are four important psychological factors affecting the consumer buying behavior. These are: perception, motivation, learning, beliefs and attitudes.

• Motivation

The level of motivation also affects the buying behavior of customers. Every person has different needs such as physiological needs, biological needs, social needs etc. The nature of the needs is that, some of them are most pressing while others are least pressing. Therefore a need becomes a motive when it is more pressing to direct the person to seek satisfaction.

• Perception

Selecting, organizing and interpreting information in a way to produce a meaningful experience of the world is called perception. There are three different perceptual processes which are selective attention, selective distortion and selective retention. In case of selective attention, marketers try to attract the customer attention. Whereas, in case of selective distortion, customers try to interpret the information in a way that will support what the customers already believe. Similarly, in case of selective retention, marketers try to retain information that supports their beliefs.

• Beliefs and Attitudes

Customer possesses specific belief and attitude towards various products. Since such beliefs and attitudes make up brand image and affect consumer buying behavior therefore marketers are interested in them. Marketers can change the beliefs and attitudes of customers by launching special campaigns in this regard.

Factors Affecting Consumer Behavior

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Extramarital Affairs: What Everyone Needs to Know and What You Can Do to Help

Recent statistics suggest that 40% of women (and that number is increasing) and 60% of men at one point indulge in extramarital affairs. Put those numbers together and it is estimated that 80% of the marriages will have one spouse at one point or another involved in marital infidelity.

That may seem like a very steep number. However after two decades plus of full time work as a marriage and family therapist, I don't believe that number is off the charts. I worked with a great number of people involved in infidelity who were never discovered.

Motive

The possibility that someone close to you is or soon will be involved in an extramarital affair (any of the three parties) is extremely high.

Maybe you will know. You will see telltale signs. You will notice changes in the person's habits and behavioral patterns as well as a detachment, lack of focus and reduced productivity. Maybe you will sense something "out of character" but be unable to pinpoint what it is.

It is not a given that he/she will tell you. Those hiding the affair will continue to hide. The "victim" of the extramarital affair often, at least initially, is racked with anger, hurt, embarrassment and thoughts of failing that preclude divulging the crisis.

It might be important to confront the person with your observations, depending on the status of your relationship with the person.

It is important to understand that extramarital affairs are different and serve different purposes.

Out of my study and experience with hundreds of couples I've identified 7 different kinds of infidelity.

Briefly, some extramarital affairs are reactivity to a perceived lack of intimacy in the marriage. Others arise out of addictive tendencies or a history of sexual confusion or trauma.

Some in our culture play out issues of entitlement and power by becoming "trophy chasers." This "boys will be boys" mentality is subtly encouraged in some contexts. Some become involved in marital infidelity because of a high need for drama and excitement and are enthralled with the idea of "being in love" and having that "loving feeling."

An extramarital affair might be for revenge either because the spouse did or did not do something. Or the revenge may stem from rage. Although revenge is the motive for both, they look and feel very different.

Another form of infidelity serves the purpose of affirming personal desirability. A nagging question of being "OK" may lead to usually a short-term and one-person affair. And finally, some affairs are a dance that attempts to balance needs for distance and intimacy in the marriage, often with collusion from the spouse.

The prognosis for survivability of the marriage is different for each. Some affairs are the best thing that happens to a marriage. Others serve a death knell. As well, different extramarital affairs demand different strategies on the part of the spouse or others. Some demand toughness and movement. Others demand patience and understanding.

The emotional impact of the discovery of infidelity is usually profound. Days and weeks of sleeplessness, rumination, fantasies (many sexual) and unproductivity follow. It typically takes 2 - 4 years to "work through" the implications. A good coach or therapist can accelerate and mollify the process. I don't recommend "marriage" counseling, at least initially.

The devastating emotional impact results from a couple powerful dynamics. Trust is shattered - of one's ability to discern the truth. The most important step is NOT to learn to trust the other person, but to learn to trust one's self. Another is the power that a secret plays in relationships. THE secret exacts an emotional and sometimes physical toll that needs to be acknowledged and dealt with.

How can you help?

Those in the midst of their affair crisis told me they need this from you:

1. Sometimes I want to vent, get it out without censor. I know sometimes I will say what I shouldn't be saying. It may not be nice, pretty or mild. Please know that I know better, but I need to get it off my chest.

2. Every so often I want to hear something like, "This too shall pass." Remind me that this is not forever.

3. I want to be validated. I want to know that I am OK. You can best do that by nodding acceptance when I talk about the pain or confusion.

4. I want to hear sometimes, "What are you learning? What are you doing to take care of yourself?" I may need that little jolt that moves me beyond my pain to see the larger picture.

5. I may want space. I may want you to be quiet and patient as I attempt to sort through and express my thoughts and feelings. Give me some time to stammer, stutter and stumble my way through this.

6. I want someone to point out some new options or different roads that I might take. But before you do this, make sure I am first heard and validated.

7. When they pop into your mind, recommend books or other resources that you think I might find helpful.

8. I want to hear every so often, "How's it going?" And, I may want this to be more than an informal greeting. Give me time and space to let you know exactly how it IS going.

9. I want you to understand and welcome the ambivalent feelings and desires. I would like you to be fairly comfortable with the gray areas and the contradictions about how I feel and what I may want.

10. I want you to be predictable. I want to be able to count on you to be there, listen and speak consistently or let me know when you are unable to do that. I will honor that.

Extramarital affairs are powerful. Affairs are costly. They affect family, friends, colleagues and employers. Infidelity is also an opportunity - to redesign one's life and love relationships in ways that create honor, joy and true intimacy.

Extramarital Affairs: What Everyone Needs to Know and What You Can Do to Help

Dr. Robert Huizenga, The Infidelity Coach, has helped hundreds of couples over the past two decades heal from the agony of extramarital affairs and survive infidelity. Visit his website at: http://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com

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Early Marriage - The Benefits And Disadvantages

Before starting a debate on early marriage you would need to define the parameters that label a marriage as 'early' and in what context. In the United States, teenage pregnancies abound meaning that girls indulge in sex as early as 13 years old but there is no marriage solemnized before the girl really grows up and is on her own, usually at the very least, 18 years of age.

On the other hand, in Asian countries and many parts of Africa girls are married sometimes very early on (child marriage) and can be at any age between birth and puberty. Once married, they are sent to their in-laws house as soon as they attain puberty. Thus, they too would be sexually active in their teens but they would be so under the compulsion of "marriage" which is traditionally accepted but is still considered illegal.

Motivating

Early Marriage - The Benefits

In Asian countries the early marriage and therefore early "sending off" to the in-laws house is read as a benefit because it is easier for the child-bride to adapt to her husband's house and therefore have better chances for a happy marriage. It also felt that when a girl is married off early she would be protected from evils such as rape, casual sex and the like. In Asiatic countries and Africa where chastity is valued above all else, this seems like a great motivating factor for early marriage.

Last but not least, the parents of girls who marry early would normally give less dowry than when they marry at an older age. In areas where poverty is rampant, this is a matter of survival.

In the United States and other parts of the country there are contradictions when it comes to early marriage, as traditions and ways of life are very different when it comes to this. Being married at the age of 22 is considered early marriage in these parts of the world.

Early Marriage - The Disadvantages

When you look at it from the girl's point of view, you'll find that most will say it cannot be termed as anything but a disadvantage. Under the label of marriage in Asian and African communities, the girl is first of all subjected to marital rape as early as 13 years old. Pregnancy follows which owing to lack of nutritious food and adequate rest leads to a number of complications. It so happens that by the time the girl reaches her twenties, she is already spent and looks close to forty years of age due to multiple pregnancies, household work and inadequate nutrition which take their toll on her.

Since the girl is too young and definitely uneducated to even know her rights or what is good for her, she is in no position to make any decisions about her life, spacing of babies, food, rest or sexual preference. In most cases she submits herself to whatever her husband and her in-laws decide without having any say in the matter, thus making early marriage something she has to put up with.

This is also the same type of thought found in other countries who don't practice childhood marriage, and probably the reason it is not practiced today.

Early Marriage - The Benefits And Disadvantages

John Zhang is a contributing Editor for marriage Find out which marriage products, treatments & solutions will continue to be beautiful at any time. Our site is dedicated to providing information about marriage well options so you can continue to do it perfect,if want to more information,please visit Early Marriage

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Arm Flab - How to Lose Arm Flab Fast

Arm flab is often particularly stubborn to shift, and for those that want to look their best, it can be a real concern. Coupled with the fact that overweight individuals are far more likely to suffer diabetes, heart attacks and strokes, and there is an additional medical motive for shifting that flab and living a healthier lifestyle. But finding out how to lose arm flab in a way that suits you and is above all safe depends on your overall fitness, and whether you're looking to tone up or build muscle in your triceps and biceps.

There are two main ways to lose arm flab in a hurry. First off, you can lose those flabby arms through engaging in a routine of diet and exercise. Everyone knows a combination of a healthy, balanced diet and an appropriate blend of exercise on a frequent basis is the secret to losing weight and consequently lowering your overall body fat percentage. As the fat percentage decreases, so does your arm flab, and you can see results very quickly if you adhere to the program rigorously.

Motive

Most people understand how to lose arm flab as part of a general weight loss program. But what people often fail to realize is that they can also shift arm fat by doing arm exercises, such as push ups and bench presses. Training these muscles on an ongoing basis can help both improve strength and convert excess fat into muscle. By working the specific muscle groups in the arm, you can tone up those muscles and eradicate unsightly flab in no time at all.

Now you know how to lose arm flab fast, all that's left to do is to get to work on losing weight and toning those muscles, on your quest for more defined, toned arms. While it can take time to see marked results, if you persevere and stick to your plan, you will eventually improve the look of your arms, and you'll benefit from feeling much more confident as a result.

Arm Flab - How to Lose Arm Flab Fast

Next, start right now with the perfect Fitness Model Program [http://fitness-ebook.com] to bring your body in shape. There is no reason why you should not have the beautifully toned arms you desire. You just need to do the first step and pick your professional workout guide. All of the exercises can be done in the comfort of your own home.

More workout plans are available at http://muscle-ebook.com

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How to Find Motivation When Something Is Holding You Back

Have you ever felt like there is more to life, like there was something you are meant to do but aren't, like there is something missing?

I have.

Motivation

There was a period in my life where I was stuck with this empty feeling. A feeling of inadequacy so deep that it had me questioning the purpose in which I was put on this planet. I didn't want to work. I didn't want to play. I didn't want to do anything. This desolate feeling caused me to do a critical review of the things in my life. I began to take a closer look at my family, friends and hobbies and quickly identified I measured success the wrong way.

I measured success with substance.

During these gloomy days I spent the bulk of my time complaining, thinking negatively about everything, quit when the going got tough, and even worse stopped dreaming. These were the hardest days of my life. To make matters worse I thought I had everything I wanted.

Who knew that getting just what you want could be so far away from having what you need?

One day I was sitting at my job, hating every moment, when a revelation so powerful hit me and nearly knocked me off my feet. I was literally slumped over like I received a severe blow to the lower abdomen. The revelation was simple and eye opening.

There is more to me than this.

I was more than my debt, more than my fear, more than my education or lack thereof, more than the sad hourly wage I was making at the time, more than my mistakes, more than my hurt, and my favorite more than a conqueror. Guess what?

You are too!

It took a lot of prayer, reflection and soul searching but I found what was missing. I found purpose and it wasn't difficult to find once I knew where to look for it. It was my gift, my natural talent that made the difference. My gift made room for me.

A man's gift maketh room for him, and bringeth him before great men. Proverbs 18:16

So, if you were anything like I was, I have some tips to help you fill that empty void.

1. Pray, meditate

Guidance is key to make sure you are going in the right direction. Make sure you have a clear mind and be patient to wait for the answer.

2. Do what comes easy.

What are you good at? What do you do in your free time outside of Madden? What comes to you naturally?

3. Network to recognize your strengths

Use your friends and family to point out your strong points. Their point of view is a lot different from yours and their perspective can give you some useful insight.

4. Practice your art.

There is no greater shortcoming than a person who refuses to practice a gift.

5. Utilize all of your talents!

If you don't use it you might lose it.

I don't care who you are there is something inside of you so powerful that is just lying dormant waiting to be unleashed. Whatever it is, don't keep it buried.

Invest in your gift because....there is more to you than this.

How will you find your hidden potential?

How to Find Motivation When Something Is Holding You Back

Frank Jennings is the founder of A Spark Starts where he writes life changing inspiring stories to help others reach their full potential. This site is full of compelling stories based on the specific situations that we face in our lives. Stop by today and read about overcoming adversity, parenting, relationships, health, endurance and many other relevant and timely topics.

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3 Word Quotes For Quick Motivation

Three word quotes are short and easy quotes that work as inspiring tools. They act as tools of encouragement to stay optimistic, motivated and focused. They are great to use as affirmations for daily encouragement. They are great motivators helping you work towards your goals Our mind is a powerful tool that captures all the messages and converts them to help us. The quotes are visual reminders to show you the way and are your weapons for quick motivation.

Three worded quotes are short quotes which convey the message in just 3 words. They are short and sweet words to motivate, inspire and affirm. They are easy to remember and repeat. When they are short and crisp we use them more often. Quick Motivation is what we look for in our daily life and in our busy day rushing through our activities we can do with all help.3 word quotes gives you the right motivation.

Motivation

'Do your best'
These three words inspire you to do your best when you start to slack in your work.

'Never give up'
This is your motivator to never give up when you are tired and ready to quit.You can overcome all difficulties with your never give up attitude.

'Success is yours'
What better way to motivate yourself than to repeat success is yours when you are filled with self-doubt?

These are some examples of three word quotes that can be used for motivation. A visual reminder always helps you in motivating yourself. Three word quotes as a magnet on your fridge or a poster on your walls keep them fresh in your mind. When we keep seeing something often the image gets imprinted deeply in our minds.

Visualization is a proven technique that helps one to imagine their goals. When we see our motivation in images we will definitely remember them with more clarity. They helps you visualize your success with ease Focus and clarity are 2 important characteristics for success.

3 worded quotes help improve your self esteem and self confidence. They are powerful intention setters. They also make great gifts to help your family and friend achieve success in life.

3 Word Quotes For Quick Motivation

Are you interested to learn more about three word quotes. You can see more examples of great 3 word quotes and how they can be visual motivators at inspirational gifts - 3 word quotes.

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